SO SAD😭!! Janelle Brown’s EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN About Mother’s Day REVEALS HOW LOSING SON HAS CHANGED HER!

Janelle Brown opened up about her first Mother’s Day without son Garrison Brown.

“Mother’s Day was surprisingly emotional for me. It just never has been a big holiday for me. My children have always shown up for me and made me feel special everyday,” the Sister Wives star, 55, wrote via Instagram on Monday, May 20. “Especially since they became independent adults and weren’t home all the time. But this year was different.”

In addition to Garrison, Janelle is the mother of Logan, 29, Madison, 27, Hunter, 27, Gabriel, 22, and Savannah, 19, whom she shares with ex-husband Kody Brown. Earlier this year, the Brown family suffered a major tragedy when Garrison died by suicide at age 25.

“All weekend I felt the grief so close to the surface. And it was especially poignant when I made this simple pie,” Janelle continued. “Our strawberry picking excursion combined with the fact that I randomly found rhubarb at the local farmers market made it feel like this pie was destined.”

Janelle shared that she decided to spend the day making strawberry rhubarb, which is a favorite in her family.

“Maybe no one loved it more than Garrison. And that made this pie a little bittersweet,” she penned alongside a picture of the sweet treat. “I love you honey and miss you every day.”

In March, Janelle and Kody announced that Garrison had passed away. “Janelle and I are deeply saddened to announce the loss of our beautiful boy Robert Garrison Brown,” Kody, 55, wrote via Instagram at the time. “He was such a bright spot in the lives of all who knew him. Our loss will leave such a big hole in our lives, that it takes our breath away. We ask that you please respect our privacy and join us in honoring his memory.”

Us Weekly confirmed that law enforcement arrived at Garrison’s home in Flagstaff, Arizona on March 5. The police discovered him dead at the scene with what appeared to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound. (Garrison’s autopsy report, which was released in May, revealed his cause of death was a gunshot wound to the head and ruled a suicide.)

Days after his passing, a funeral was held in Garrison’s honor according to his cousin, Emma Brown. One month after his passing, Janelle took to Instagram to honor Garrison on what would have been his 26th birthday.

“Happy Birthday Sweetheart. We are missing you terribly today. It’s hard to believe you aren’t here anymore,” Janelle wrote via Instagram in April. “We talked a lot about you today and even went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner (your favorite place ) I still feel you nearby sometimes. And I’m grateful we will see each other again when my journey is completed.”